Sometimes we think that if we, say, win a big competition, we'll have a big career.
What competitions actually do is give the winner a bunch of concerts (if the competition is big enough to include concerts as part of the prize), which give the winner the opportunity to meet people. People like conductors, other musicians, audience members, and presenters.
If those people like working with the winner, musically and personally, she'll get invited to do more performances. Projects will emerge. She can invite others to participate in her projects, and they'll accept.
A couple of my teachers were top prize winners in big competitions and got a bunch of high-level concerts. One of them even had the break of a lifetime, filling in for an A-list cellist who was ill. Both of them sabotaged their careers by being arrogant, in one case, or, in the other, reportedly making fun of the cellist he was replacing at a party where the cellist's big-name-conductor husband was present.
Two more of my teachers had amazing, big-time performing careers. Not only were each known for their impeccable playing, but also for their kind, professional demeanor. No one tells stories of the "can you believe what X did?' sort about them.
So, we need to know people.
And if we need to know more people, we introduce ourselves.
Hence the introduce yourself to 10 strangers game. It's a skill, and like all skills, it gets better with practice. Write about your experiences in the comments section below.
Another thing to keep in mind: underneath whatever surface we present to others, almost everyone wants to be acknowledged and to connect with more people. It's part of being human. We act like we don't care. But we really do.
If you haven't seen it already (it was racing through FB like wildfire last week), watch this video in which Amanda Palmer talks about connecting with people.
Meeting people randomly for an assignment is a little rough, but I have a more meaningful experience of meeting someone from a couple weeks ago. The last time it snowed really bad in Greencastle, I was walking through the GCPA and saw a man sitting by himself. He didn't look like a student and he didn't look like any professor I recognized. I just stopped and asked if he was stuck because of the ice. He looked really tired and a little surprised, and said yes. I bought him a coffee because I have a lot of extra money on my tiger card, then set him up at a computer in the library so he could look up local hotels
ReplyDeleteI think the best way to get over the fear of appearing like you are introducing yourself just because you want something is to demonstrate that you are willing to give too.
On a different note, some of my most fascinating conversations with random people happen in airports. Those are easy conversations to start because everyone has a destination, or you can mutually complain about the delayed flight.
I met all 10 people at the same time. They were sitting at the lobby of my building. It was brief and not very special...but at least I know more people now! I didn't enjoy introducing myself to random people. I agree with Rachel's post in that it is more meaningful when you are genuinely interested in knowing new people and do not do it as an assignment.
ReplyDeleteI always thought that introducing myself to people was something good..until a couple of weeks ago I met someone who now keeps randomly sitting at my table when I'm eating or appears in places in which I had not seen this person before. Very strange.
I like introducing myself to people when I know there is potential for a friendship, a networking possibility or if I know I can help that person.
Valeria!! The same thing happened to me. Random introductions are not always the best. Especially when there are gender issues. As a female I need to be careful to whom and how introduce myself. There have been several cases in the past where my normal friendliness and congeniality has been interpreted incorrectly and I later received unwanted advances from the other person. Relations are delicate things to manage.
ReplyDeleteTo introduce myself to strangers was really weird. I was trying to know people in the same class with me firstly. I only knew some of them before. And I also tried once in the hub. Some people felt okey to talked to me, but after my introduction, our conversation was just over. I think most people dont want to be disturb by a random person. They will be nice, but also want to end the conversation.
ReplyDeleteWhen introducing myself to strangers I found it very hard if I didn't have someone with me who may have known the individual beforehand or if the situation seemed forced. In most of the cases though it was not as frightening or scary as I originally thought. Once I realized that most if not everyone on this campus likes meeting new people and is not going to bite you just because your introducing yourself I became more comfortable with the idea.
ReplyDelete